You’ve been crying ever since I told you I was fucking your boss, sweetie. Shouldn’t THAT be ample proof that you aren’t man enough for me? If you don’t stop crying I’ll give you something to cry about. Now, calm down and I’ll explain what’s going on.

What’s going on is this: You can’t fuck me worth a damn, and your boss can. It’s as simple as that. It really shouldn’t come as a surprise to you. Afterall, you must have seen our lusting glances at the office Christmas party. And didn’t you wonder why I spent so much time visiting with your boss in his office with the door closed, when you thought I was coming to visit you? Every week I make you buy me more sexy lingerie that you never get to see me in. What, did you think I was stocking up for winter? Of course I’ve been putting it to use!

I know what the problem is. All this time you mistook my bored sighs when you were pitifully pumping away at me as lustful sighs. Poor thing, you’ve never heard the difference! Don’t you worry sweetie, you’ll know the difference soon enough. I’ve invited your boss over for dinner tonight. So go put your apron on and cook us up something extra special. And afterward, I’ll show you what it looks like when a REAL man fucks a woman!

For heaven’s sake, stop crying. When you see all of the dirty things I let your boss do to me that I would never let you do…then, maybe, you’ll have a good reason to cry.